Friday, April 02, 2010

It's another...

BOY for the Mitchells!! There are so many emotions wrapped up in gender for me. I think I have talked about it before, but I was really struggling with my feelings over boy or girl. I knew that I had no control over the actual choice, but I did have control over my reactions and my feelings. I wanted so badly for Will to have a friend and a buddy. He is sometimes is so much like an only child, because Ella doesn't play with him, or even beside him. He is the only one who ever gets in trouble, or spanked, and the only person who calls us "mom" and "dad". I think it's so good for him to be around other "typical" kids and I wanted him to have someone to carry the burden of Ella once we are gone. Well, what about having another girl? I have thought about what it would be like to have another girl. To dress her in clothes that don't have to be adjusted for her being on the floor or for diapers forever. To have someone who would care to wear bows or play with all the dolls and toys that Ella has received. Someone to boss around Will and just be a buddy for me to do "girly" things with all the time. Someone who would actually care to see the Disney castle with me or beg to meet all the princesses and want to get dressed up like them. Oddly, as much as I pain for all of those things when I see them...I don't really miss them on a day to day basis. I'm not super girly. I'm probably not very "proper" or do all the girl things that so many of my friends do. Even when it comes to dolls...I never played with them as a little girl and wouldn't know the first thing (or probably even enjoy) a pretend tea party. I really much prefer watching the Cowboys on a Sunday afternoon or wrestling with Will (when not 5 months pregnant). I'm excited that this baby is a boy. I think the Lord really read mine and Joe's hearts and knew that we just weren't ready to have another girl, neither of us was ready. God has really protected my heart in this area...seems small, but I've loved feeling blessed by the genders of my children being so carefully picked out. For now we are a family of 5. Some have asked if we are "done" and I don't have an honest answer. Joe and I always talked about having a lot of kids...started out at 6, but has moved to more like 4. It has been rough this time to have the two older kids and be pregnant. We will just have to see, in a couple of years, where the Lord has our family and if He has placed a desire and available energy for us to add another person. I really think that He gives you the "all done" signal if you are looking for it...and I'll just wait to see what He says. I'm grateful, as I'm reminded that I was once told that it would be touchy for me to ever get pregnant (with severe endometriosis) but the Lord has blessed us with 2 very wonderful children and we look forward to meeting #3. I am reminded constantly, through friends, that these children are His, and we have no guarantees, but for now I'm content with exactly how our family is shaping up! Oh, and no (oddly) we don't have a name yet. We had a girl name all ready to go, but we are still tweaking the boy name and will let you know as soon as we are sure on it.

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